


Goodbye

by ssnips



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lots of Angst, and maybe a bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16603109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssnips/pseuds/ssnips
Summary: This fic should really be a sequel but I haven't written the first part. Basically Yaz almost dies on a mission and the Doctor freaks out, thinking by bringing the companions on these adventures, she's stopping them from being able to live long happy lives, so she takes them back to earth under the pretense of it just being a visit and leaves, without even saying goodbye because she knows if she does she won't be able to leave them.Now 80 years later, the Doctor and Yaz finally get a chance to have their proper goodbyes.





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Tea at Yaz's groupchat - you're all awesome!!

Yaz knows she hasn’t got long left, the way the nurses look at her with sympathy, the sadness on her family’s faces when they visit. She wasn’t scared. She’d lived a good life. She was quite proud of her accomplishments and on top of that she had a wonderful family. They were perhaps the hardest part of this, leaving them behind. The sadness in their eyes became almost too much to bear sometimes, but for now she’s alone, and the world is still.

The silence is broken when a nurse knocks on her door. “There’s someone here to see you.” The door opens and a woman cautiously steps through. Her head is hung, keeping her face out of view, but Yaz would recognise her anywhere.

“Doctor.” She doesn’t look a day older than the last time she saw her. The Doctor looks up, an attempt of a smile spreads on her face, but Yaz can see the sadness below it.

“Yaz…” The Doctor falters. “I’m so sorry.” Yaz shakes her head slightly.

“Come here.” The Doctor obeys, but still looks hesitant as she stands beside Yaz’s bed. Yaz reaches out, searching for The Doctor’s hand. When she finds it, she takes it in her own, gently stroking it with her thumb. “It’s good to see you.” A genuine smile forms on The Doctor’s face.

“It’s good to see you too.” A silence falls on the room. Yaz had spent so long thinking about what she’d say if The Doctor ever came back, yet now she has no idea where to start.

“Did you have a good life?” The Doctor asks eventually.

“Yes, yes I did.”

“That’s good, I’m glad.” Again, there is a glimmer of happiness on her face, but it is overwhelmed by sadness and guilt. Yaz takes in a shaky breath and begins talking.

“I was mad at you, you know? Really mad.”

“I’m so-” The Doctor begins, but Yaz quickly cuts her off.

“I kept asking myself, why? What did we do so that she wouldn’t even say goodbye?” Pain strikes across The Doctor’s face, and Yaz hates it, but she knew she has to say it. “I was also in love with you, like completely head over heels in love with you. A complicated mix of emotions that was. It was hard, I’m not going to lie, hard adjusting back to normal life, hard getting over you.” The Doctor opens her mouth to speak again but holds back. “But I got there in the end. I moved on, made a life for myself that I was pretty happy with.” She locks eyes with The Doctor. “I don’t regret it, none of it. Travelling with you was the most incredible thing I’d done, and those adventures are amongst some of my best memories… plus it made a really good bedtime story for the kids.” She let out a small laugh, lighting a smile on The Doctor’s face. Her pained expression softens as she looks at Yaz.

“I love you Yaz, I’m so sorry I left you.” Yaz can’t help but laugh at those words, thinking back to her 19 year old self, who wanted nothing more than to hear The Doctor hear those words. That was a lifetime ago, both metaphorically and literally. “I’m sorry I never said goodbye, I-”

“I don’t want to hear you say that again.” The Doctor looks taken aback, her face twitching slightly clearly showing the inner cogs of her brain working. “And I don’t want to hear why,” Yaz continued. “It’s something I could have easily spent a lifetime worrying about. There’s just one question I have for you.” The Doctor nods. “Why now, after all this time?” The Doctor’s face fell into a solemn look, one that echoed the faces Yaz had been seeing on her family for days now.

“I’m dying, aren’t I?”

“Another 10 points to Yasmin Khan,” The Doctor tries to joke. Yaz laughed despite herself, although what came out was more of a wheeze.

“I think I’m ready.” The Doctor’s grip on her hand tightens and a tear rolls down her face.

“I love you Yaz, the universe is going to be less bright without you in it.” The Doctor gently stroked her free hand across Yaz’s cheek. “I should go now, your family will be here soon.” She begins to stand up struggling to blink back further tears.

“Wait.” Yaz lifts up her arm so their hands remain in contact. “Can you do something for me? Just one last favour.”

“Of course, anything?”

“Don’t be afraid to love. I know you’ve lost so much, more than I can possibly imagine, but you’re also one of the kindest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met. You deserve love.” The Doctor nods, and for another moment she stays perfectly still. Suddenly her head shoots up.

“I can her them coming. I have to go.” Her voice is tight. She makes it almost to the door before turning back around. “Goodbye Yaz.”

“Goodbye Doctor, I’m glad we got to do this the proper way this time.”

“Me too.” With one last smile, the Doctor swiftly walks out the door. It’s only then that Yaz feels tears begin to roll down her face.

Just moments later, the door opens again and her family piles in sadness rife on their faces. She smiles weekly at them.

_I’m ready,_ she thinks to herself, then lets her eyes fall shut.


End file.
